"I CAN'T GET OVER MY EX..."

I am 23 years old and I have never been in a "serious" relationship (I have dated though, I don't think they are the same thing). I am perfectly fine with it. Being single has taught me how to love and depend on myself. Some people question my singleness a lot. I, in turn worry about why they are so concerned about my relationship status, especially since it doesn't bother me at all. Some people find it weird that I have never been in a relationship. How is it weird though? Is it mandatory to be in a relationship by the age of 23? Where is it written? What rules am I breaking? Who am I hurting?
I never know what to say to people when they ask me why I have been single for so long and it's also really hard for me to give a response to someone who doesn't have the same vision as me. They wouldn't understand.

I want my first "serious" relationship to be my last. I understand the standards I have set for myself; I don't care what people/society think. If it is not leading to marriage, then it's a waste of my time. If it is not God led, then I don't want it.  I am using this season to work on me. I have a lot of things to work on. If I want my one day Mr. Right to be perfect for me, then I better meet his standards too. I can't pray to God for a man who will be a leader in our relationship when I, on the other hand like to knock people down or like to be the boss of everyone and everything. I can't pray to God for an honest man when I lie all the time. I can't pray to God for a hardworking man when I am a lazy bum. In order for God to find me Mr. Right, I need to work on being his Mrs. Right.

"But Josey, how are you gonna know who the right person is if you don't get in multiple relationships, after all the bible tells us to put work in everything we do and the Lord will do the rest" 

First of all, I don't have to go through a multitude to find me the right one. I am not going to let my guard down just because I am too desperate to find the perfect guy. When you let your guard down, you let the wrong people in. Letting the wrong people in shifts your focus from where God is leading you. And when your focus is shifted, that is when you begin to settle. That's when people try to tell you things like " ugh, your standards are too high". That's when people try to tear you down.
I also haven't been in a relationship because I am afraid and uncomfortable with this generation's mindset and mentality.
Why do people depend solely on sex to maintain their relationships? I don't get it!!! If your last three relationships didn't last, even though you had sex in all of them, what makes you think that it will help your current relationship last?

Shouldn't you be doing something different since the last three didn't last?
Do you really need to "test drive" the girl/boy you claim you really like just to be sure if they are the right ones for you? Are you or are they a car?
Stop selling yourself short. Do not be content with being tested out before you get into a relationship with someone. If he/she really liked and cared about you, he/she would be willing to learn more about you and focus less on your body.

"It's not real love unless you're willing to sacrifice you for them. There is no room for selfishness in love" ~ @godlydating101

So say you have been "talking" to this person for like six months and all of a sudden he keeps pressuring you to have sex first in order for him to decide whether or not if he wants to be with you. No offense to the guys who read my blog posts but y'all know boys have a way with words!!!
So because you like him so much, you let your guard down and you let him "test drive" you several times. And they never wanna do it just once!!! He keeps his promises to you and eventually makes you his girlfriend. Now what? After three months into the relationship, he begins to lose interest, he gets tired of you and he breaks up with you. The breakup came out of nowhere right? I bet it cuts you deep! Now it's been three years, you're back on track, you have found another guy and you're trying to do things the right way, God's way, but you just cannot seem to forget the guy that test drove you. 

Sister/Brother, there is more to sex than just the pleasure that comes with it. We all know that you can get an STD or get pregnant when you do not protect yourself but then there is SOUL TYING. This has nothing to do with condoms and pills. When you have sex with someone you become ONE with that person. You form an unhealthy bond with that person. You become spiritually glued to that person, and this explains why people find it so hard to let go of their exes even after they've been broken up for years. This also explains why people can't seem to let go of a person even after they have wronged them(cheated, lied, disrespected, etc.).
Now you're stuck, crying over a door God closed for you years ago and you can't even focus the right person God has introduced into your life. Let me know if I'm wrong, but at this point you don't even miss the person, you miss the pleasure they provided through sex. Pretty sad right? Stop tying your souls to people you aren't equally yoked with.
If you're doing more than DATA COLLECTION in your current relationships, you're doing something wrong. Leave the sex for married people.Guard your hearts and abstain. Use your dating/courtship season to learn more about the person you're with. Ask questions that matter, develop on your communication skills with the person. Dont be led by your emotions. Include God in every aspect of your relationships. Ask God to show you the hearts of the people that show interest in you. This is important.

Around last year, some guy who claimed to love God so much expressed interest in me. I was just like YASSSS LORD!!!. I really like it when guys aren't ashamed to show the world that they love God, so it got me pretty excited. I didn't act on my emotions immediately though. I prayed to God to show me the heart of this guy. God did more than enough! I found out that he was only trying to use me to get access into our school's cafeteria and basically get free food, get some sex here and there PLUS I caught him with another girl. Thank God He showed me who this guy really was. He would have led me in a wrong direction. God cares for you and he wants the best for you. Involve Him in your everyday activities and He will let you see things the way He sees them.
Because of how society portrays sex and relationships, it makes me not want to hurry and get into a relationship. I love where I am with the Lord, so until I am done working on me and God finds me my Mr. Right, y'all can stop worrying about me. I AM GOOD!
I don't know about you but I want God to be the Ex I can't get over. I don't think I can ever let go of God, the love is real. I would rather have my soul tied with God forever and ever and ever and ever.
Please stop wandering and come home, we miss you!

"Dont copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God's will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect"~Romans 12:2



Guys I finally made a Facebook page for this blog, please go ahead and like it to see more, thank you. Here is the link: https://www.facebook.com/whitesntaupe 
xx